The following is a paper that I wrote about a norm that I recently violated on the UNI campus. In the violation I faked my pregnancy and recorded how people reacted to me as a "pregnant college student who appeared unmarried". It was an interesting a fun experiement....If you ever have any questions, I have answers :). Hope you enjoy reading about it as much as I enjoyed participating and writing about it!
Mary Schmidt
980:001:04 Intro. To Sociology
Megan Tesene
3-3-11
Social Norm Violation-College Student Pregnancy
While walking through the average small-town high school, there is a norm that is clearly established-the vast majority of female students are not pregnant. If a teen and student were to get pregnant while attending high school, students may clearly react in ways to show that said behavior is not “normal” and even looked down upon.
Clear examples of how teen pregnancy violates the social norm can be seen in the media as shows like “Teen Mom” and “Sixteen and Pregnant” have become reality television hits. If everyone was pregnant and attending school at such a young age, the media would have no reason to televise such occurrences. Furthermore, these reality TV shows display the difficulties that a teen mother faces in violating the societal norm of getting pregnant out of wedlock or before they have finished their education.
Moreover, if an individual were to look around the University of Northern Iowa campus they would be hard pressed to find a noticeably pregnant student walking around campus, attending classes. Therefore, it is against the social norm to be both extremely pregnant and a college student. For this reason, faking a pregnancy and walking around campus with a backpack was obviously a violation of the social norm. A norm that when violated, undoubtedly created discomfort and negative feelings for many of the students of UNI.
In our culture, pregnant women are seen as weaker and expected to be at home preparing for when the baby comes. Often people offer to help pregnant women as it becomes more difficult for them to function “normally” on their own. Additionally, pregnant women tend to have someone close and ready to take them to the hospital in the case that they do go into labor. This is an established norm in part for the purpose of its necessity. Women are less mobile and able to function and even carry heavy objects (like a backpack) on their own when they are nearing the end of their pregnancy. This may be another reason the norm of being married or having a partner while pregnant has been set into place; attending college classes while appearing to be extremely pregnant does not follow any of the expected norms.
As established, the norm I violated was the standard that a woman is typically finished with her education and/or married before she becomes pregnant. In my experiment, I strapped a pillow to my stomach and wore a maternity shirt. I made myself appear in such a way as to be a minimum of six months pregnant. I then put on my backpack and pretended to be on my way to class. I walked around campus as students were passing between classes. I also sat at the union during the lunch hour to observe how people reacted to me while they were in their “clicks” of friends. It was interesting to see how my “becoming pregnant for a day” seemed to change almost everything about how people treated me. I felt like I had the lowest physical and social standing on campus, and nobody who put me in the position had ever met or talked to me before.
While walking around campus I encountered people of many various races, both genders, aging presumably from seventeen to possibly even sixty as I encountered professors, and assumedly various sexual orientations. I did not break a norm that would only affect a specific “type” of people and everyone I encountered had an equal opportunity to react to my norm violation.
While I gave everyone with an equal opportunity to react to my deviation from the norm, I found that gender played an interesting role in how people reacted to me. Despite my predictions that women would be more understanding of my situation, I found that men were more gracious and willing to help me. As I walk across campus I found that men would rush to open doors for me. One man even offered to carry my bag and asked if there was any way he could help. Even more, men would offer to let me go in front of them in line. This may be because these are typical reactions men have toward a pregnant woman, no matter what her social status. Had I been married or not a student they would have treated me the same. However, I firmly believe that these actions would not occur in such a high frequency if I did not appear pregnant.
At the same time I encountered several situations with women where I felt extremely exiled and ridiculed. One specific moment was while I sat in the Union over the lunch hour. I was sitting at a table by myself with a textbook. I was pretending to study while I simultaneously observed the people around me. I noticed that quite a few people were actually staring at me. I suddenly got the feeling that I was a caged animal at the zoo.
As I felt more uncomfortable in my own skin I heard a group of girls at a table near me. They were commenting on how big I was and how they do not want to get pregnant because they are afraid of being “fat”. One girl even said, “Wow, I can’t believe she thinks it is okay to keep going to class when she’s that big, you’d think she’d drop out”. Upon hearing this, I felt extremely unaccepted. For a moment, I had let myself get caught up in my role and I took their words to heart. I had predicted that women would be more supportive of the fact that I had not quit school. Clearly, I was incorrect in this specific situation.
Judging by my interpretations of both the verbal and non-verbal actions of people as they came in contact with the “pregnant” me, I would say that women are much more uncomfortable with the violation of this social norm. This may be because women put marriage on a pedestal along with an education. Although they could not be certain if I was married or not, I did not wear a ring and it was possible for them to observe that detail along with my textbooks and backpack. I feel like my being pregnant and apparently not married, but continuing to value my education may have struck their core values. It seemed that women viewed me as a possible threat to their way of life or an insult to the norms that they value in terms of education, followed by marriage, followed by a pregnancy.
Another potential reason women may have been more ready to place ridicule was out of fear that they could be in the same situation. Perhaps their insults were even a way of reassuring themselves that my situation would not happen to them. Moreover, since they were in a group, they may have been ensuring a sense of conformity. By stating how bad my situation was and mocking me, they are indirectly making other girls want to conform to the “normal order of things”. Even if I were completely able to balance my education, work, and a child on my own, it would still violate the norm and the way of life that these women seemed eager to defend.
In violating this norm, I developed a sense of personal shame. Not for the experiment, but rather the character that I had become. I felt embarrassed with the idea that I had become “pregnant” without the means, intent, or even a plan. While I entered this project with no personal contempt toward women who got pregnant out of wedlock, I soon discovered that I take the same position as the girls who were rude to me. Whereas, I would like to believe that I would never talk about a pregnant woman in the way they talked about me, I cannot say that I would like to be go against this norm in actuality. This norm is recognized because it is extremely difficult to follow the alternative.
In the end I felt like my self-esteem and pride had been damaged. I am ashamed of myself for holding the normal opinion that women should be at home being cared for by their husbands, while they are pregnant. Although at the same time, I realized that I definitely do not want to get pregnant anytime soon and that there are more challenges besides just the pregnancy, work, school, etc. The challenge of society and facing the opinions of those who hold fast to the norms would be a whole other trial in itself.
In the end, I learned that I like the comfort of following the social norms. It was remarkably difficult to step out and take on a role that was so ridiculed. I felt shame while breaking the norm and interestingly enough I felt shame for judging those who go against it. However, my final verdict is that in this specific situation, I like to follow the norm or society. It is easy to conform. The way our culture is, going against the norm is dangerous and even hurtful. This is probably why so many conform and thus preserve the traditional norms.
